Ssc 43 Burden

Ssc 43 Burden - trip hop

Tapah

Tapah

Psyche and the Circular Essence

   
     Round and Round...all is the "circular essence" as Doug Heller said in high school, ages ago, brilliant. Or spiral multiverse. Oh, yeah, for me, today is a time for the noticing of a certain amount of earth revolutions of the sun, from the time this body in which i reside entered the air to breathe and start a new phase of existence. Do you really think of it that way? Ok, well, then, happy birthday, and to all... I appreciate your decision to incarnate in this fantastic and complicated time of the world.  -Age - it must have been an issue, i remember asking "what time is it?" when someone would ask the question. Like when someone asks "where are you from?" i always get a puzzling feeling(that i like)? And probably a goofy look on my face. Good question...probably affects our life experience. When asked by a woman in Thailand, i just pointed up. She said: you are from stars. I think we've all been (almost) everywhere, so the narrative just depends on how much one is identified with the story, positively or otherwise.
        Today, as i sat outside for sun connection and slipping into a meditative feeling, a shadow of something flickers - I am noticing the shadow and i am breathing in and out...another flicker  open eyes look and it is Psyche this butterfly. I always think of a goddess and a sign of love when i see and and she came up like she was going to land on my shoulder or arm. I wanted to totally relax and almost expected it... a blessing...to open...to feel...touching nature... life... She circled around through the trees gently gliding - dropping into the small area... i noticed the mind reach out toward Psyche and then the ceasing of reaching and then open...relaxing...breathing in and out...All is blessing...I am thankful...
         Found this story of the legend when looking up Psyche. The word psyche is the Greek word for butterfly. Similar to numerous legends from many traditions, the common thrust is: The gods were given (from whom?) supernatural powers and have often interacted with humans. Have to say - And have created worlds and beings - and - a generous amount of havoc. Often, gods and humans have thought that they were the ultimate creator of all, and with their followers, created much war and strife. The idea pointing to: there are unlimited levels of consciousness or levels of experience that entities desire to interact with. So, the likelihood, of a human having the ability to identify who or what is the Source of all, is very small. The escapades of the demigods and entities in the recent last few thousand years on earth have been notorious. This distilling of mankind and Earth's history is obviously speculative, one who truly listens - will truly hear. Asking for the truth is valuable and brings forth assistance from benevolent entities and energies.
            Since this story begins with references to envy and jealousy, i'm looking to identify any in my psychology. If one truly accepts that he is absolutely responsible for everything in his reality, than one sees it's not possible to be anyone but who you are. I stand by my choices and choose to develop more sensitivity and compassion. I am a protector of the weaker or smaller. There are so many ways to see things. I am thankful to see things this way as opposed to someone who is worried about health, because yesterday the DR. said if it gets bad, go to the ER. I know i'm doing well in taking care of this body and will continue until the rental contract expires. When Eros saw Psyche(in Greek mythology Psyche is the deification of the human soul), his compassion for her was tempered by his knowledge of this world, which is hosting many who are insensitive and dishonest. Do not fear - gentle and innocent Psyche - you are protected...Goodness and balance endures...
             
            This is the first part of the legend from wikipedia:
         Envious and jealous of the beauty of a mortal girl named Psyche, Venus asks her son Cupid (known to the Greeks as Eros) to use his golden arrows while Psyche sleeps, so that when she awakens, Venus (Aphrodite in the Greek tradition) would place a vile creature for her to fall in love with. Cupid finally agrees to her commands after a long debate. As he flies to Psyche's room at night, he becomes invisible so no one can see him fly in through her window. He takes pity on her, for she was born too beautiful for her own safety. As he slowly approaches, careful not to make a sound, he readies one of his golden arrows. He leans over Psyche while she is asleep and before he can pierce her shoulder with the tip of his arrow, she awakens, startling him, for she looks right into his eyes, despite his invisibility. This causes him to scratch himself with his arrow and fall deeply in love with her. He cannot continue his mission, for every passing second he finds her more appealing. He reports back to Venus shortly after and the news enrages her. Venus places a curse on Psyche that prevents her from meeting a suitable husband. Cupid is greatly upset, and decides that, as long as Psyche remains cursed, he will no longer shoot arrows, which will cause the temple of Venus to fall.

What is Real

     A question most worthy of asking, a teacher might say. One to which you will get millions of answers. A symbiotically natural antithesis to "What is illusion?" It is evident, when looking closely, that each has their own unique path through this life, and yet there is an inherent sameness to our experiences. "As the air carries aromas, so the living beings carry their conceptions of life." -   from Bhagavad Gita- Since it is apparent that the human has been given this freedom to conceive or follow a particular concept of life, who can say what is the purpose. In all cultures and in human nature is the desire or tendency to sense or believe that there is more to life than what is visible and along with ethnicity provide most soul's main identity for most. The actual changes that people experience are generally fairly small over a lifetime. We often seem to come in with an essential nature and add or subtract during life. Exceptions such as those who desire to expand and those who use psychotropic substances can introduce massive change or growth. This points to the postulate that it takes much more than one lifetime to find or return to what is real. The answer that it is - that which endures - can bring up more questions than answers, but is worth contemplating. To the human soul, all that is felt is real, and is one of the purposes of being human. To feel... emotions - do they endure? I don't think it matters for you will be drawn toward experiencing the emotions you desire. We see psychiatrists who have found that patients can regress to before this life and are often healed by re or fully experiencing the event again. This is in sync with the philosophy that one needs to fully experience and accept the emotion created, if not, it comes up again. These things are observable and past life experiences have been studied by professionals, who have scientifically recorded data and maintained case studies ( see U. of Virginia - past lives) target="_blank">http://youtu.be/VZTtU7akrfQ - So you decide what is real, you are the unique sojourner that has come to this emerald blue world, in this time of change, yet it's been said that we have done it before - there is nothing new under the sun - or the universes. Maybe it's like a play's run. Some nights with the same show can be different - and you can improvise. The cast changes. Guess you just need to "inhabit" your character, knowing you will experience what the writer was wanting to express. And afterword, i think there is a cast party...

Brian Weiss / Soul Transmigration

As a traditional psychotherapist, Dr. Brian Weiss was astonished and skeptical when one of his patients began recalling past-life traumas that seemed to hold the key to her recurring nightmares and anxiety attacks. His skepticism was eroded, however, when she began to channel messages from "the space between lives," which contained remarkable revelations about Dr. Weiss's family and his dead son. Using past-life therapy, he was able to cure the patient and embark on a new, more meaningful phase of his own career.

A graduate of Columbia University and Yale Medical School, Brian L. Weiss M.D. is Chairman Emeritus of Psychiatry at the Mount Sinai Medical Center in Miami.    brian weiss.com    also see Ian Stevenson's extensive work

Siddartha's Pools - Buddhist Teachings/ Dalai Lama Downloads

        Lotus pools were made for me at my father's house solely for my use; in one, blue lotuses flowered, in another white, and in another red," says Siddharthain ancient writings attributed to him. "A white sunshade was held over me day and night so that I would not be troubled by cold or heat, dust or grit or dew." (This translation is from Rupert Gethin's "The Foundations of Buddhism," Oxford University Press, 1998.)
           When Gautama was 29 years old, he discovered there was much suffering in the world around him. Traditionally it is explained that he suddenly recognised the problems of sickness, old age and death when visiting the city. Being shocked by the suffering of all living beings, he decided to search for way to end it. He left his wife and child, the palace and even his royal clothes, and started out on a spiritual quest.

                                    

                                              http://viewonbuddhism.org/resources/index.html

Ponds Weekly - You're soaking in it

      It's been a rainy, somewhat eventful week at the pond. The water level is high, but quality still murky. My hypothesis is that the crayfish ate all the snails  ,so it's not cleaned or just that the amount of animals is too much. Over 15 crays have been relocated to the upper pool. They are starting to clear out the seaweed that took over that tank. The water is clear with fish. As i was gazing down into the depths, a toad swam up to be face to face. He just stared for a while, when i felt him saying "What the hell are you doing, bringing all those crayfish in here. I live here and it's not very big and those guys are wild and
voracious." (thinks he understads animal's thoughts). I then explained, thinking in pictures, what we were planning (thinks he can talk to animals). He sunk down a little, eyes half under water, which made him a look skeptical, and then dove under, disappearing in the weeds...I hadn't thought about the few toads who lived in that tank. The lavender lilies are ok. One day at the lower pond, while watching the fish being very competitive for the sparse algae, a cray stuck his claws around the lily roots, one of their food sources. He then came up toward my face, brandishing his pinchers. I made a sound and honored his warrior status. I've been feeding the fish some odd things lately - puffed millet, just things that are around. I circle the pond and let all be fed...
        Today, while observing a crayfish mowing down the algae , i tried to flip him out of the water- unsuccessfully. Am using a tool from the forest: a stick(learned that from watching chimps on tv). Tried again and got one. Got a little worried as he wasn't moving and i didn't want to kill him. Searching for an appropriate device to move him to the pool, i found a large enough leaf  (amazingly laying around ). He was still out but gave a few twitches and i got him on for the ride up, where he was placed on a lily pad and water started covering him. I flashed back to the two birds i shot with slingshot and bb gun when 11 and 12 years old. Back then i had decided to retire from hunting. A sect in India called the Jains wear a mask over nose and mouth to not kill the bugs and life in the air. They sweep in front to avoid stepping on bugs. Although this makes them caring and sensitive, it is impossible to not kill on this planet, a planet of  birth and death. One needs to avoid these pitfalls by consciousness. So - i left him on the lily and when i came back he had awakened and submerged. The only hunting i've done since childhood, was for truth, and i've retired from that as well as it is said: "Grasping at things can only yield one of two results: 
Either the thing you are grasping at disappears, or you yourself disappear. It is only a matter of which occurs first."  Goenka - Seeking, hunting, desiring, asking. allowing, aligning - truth is all encompassing...

               

Toad Nature

      They gave me a laugh, to look in the trap ad see two toads on top of each other. They and their tribe from the pond were probably up all night in nature's dance of life with it's relentless drive to continue. This may be one of the drivers of mankind's often destructive thirst for more/bigger/better/newer/more.  The sacred beautiful act of creation becomes a double edged sword. It helps to think that it didn't start out only like that, and that it will not always be like that. And that all the landfills and toxicity we made will someday return to a mass of atoms. These creations show the alienative  (?) relationship, with the earth, that modern man has. The will to grow,create and expand needs a loving steward. The feeling is different, the when the cycle is functional and nature thrives. It is mysterious how the soul and body interface, and how things seem to rise and fall. And how it all interacts. With the toads, I noticed at sunset last night - that time of the moon - they were moving around outside. Amazed by the varied and detailed creation in this pond of ours --  moments of nowness  --- Then another surprised laugh when i look four inches in front of my face - another toad in the grass (obviously hungover). Have missed the hormone vitamin d. Now in autumn till spring, Drs(Chopra,Oz, S. Khalsa) say supplement if above latitude line at Atlanta, Ga. You can feel the sun in your bones. This can bring up issues of Southern and Northern people but gonna leave that for another time.  Listening to master Po - (Kung fu http://youtu.be/uR6qocmTwhA) helped me to understand the harmony of nature. Theoretically, i knew if all is one, it must interact with itself, but as complicated as it can be, it can be in harmony. It can also be affected to be out of harmony, like this time of the world - with the industrial revulsion. Probably, when designed, it was more functional and has deteriorated in this time, with man misusing freewill. Or?  Shalom...Shanti...Salaam...

Territorial - a place called home

    It happened last week and today - checking the trap, and finding a crayfish in there, with no food in it. Haven't been going to the pond/sun sessions lately,due to health issues. Nothing very serious, but enough to go to the er(first time) and though the Dr. wanted to do surgery( an ez but unnecessary remedy). Then there was the meds mixup - the nurse on the phone said don't take anymore of it -
"don't worry - if you had the worst reaction, you would have been dead yesterday" ( So - i thought - today is a pretty good day). They are so surprised when someone takes the lead on certain medical decisions.  The patient often has more insight because of being able to feel what's happening. Research and second opinions are valuable. Of course, physical problems always have an internal source. There are methods to determine if your body is alive or not, just for reference(Tibetan book of the dead, etc.) Like looking at your feet, clothes, or in the mirror. If one attains lucid dreaming skills, the soul is practically free...
     So, in the pond, entities compete for resources and seek a place or den where it is peaceful and safe. Even if the food is gone and he could have gotten out. We stake our territory(maybe subliminally) and defend and use it. This may be the greatest source of conflict along with the others we've mentioned above. This mentality can be remedied by building our sources of enjoyment on inner values. Also, by remembering the temporary nature of the material world. Desire will continue the day to day happenings - but desires can be CHANGED - thank heaven. By awareness and communication, and the thirst for deeper feeling/meaning - one can see and desire a healthier reality...

The Unique Way We See Things

Reminded of a certain ability , i realize some improvement in this skill. Maybe through age, energetic escalation,  or experiences. ---- It is thinking about something as if you "were" someone else or "from" somewhere else ( essentially by empathic feeling their emotions and thinking -or - at least - trying to visualize from how that personality might possibly see things - mostly concerning real people you are interacting with(being more functional) and then comprehending the dynamic of the situation) - then being able to communicate more effectively. These three reasons - and more - have been valuable. Each perceives in their own unique way. Evolution, Earth origins, creating of events - these all seem to be part of the mystery. The human primate needs a group or tribe, and seeks and forms bonds naturally. This time in earth history, as the groups are having contact through technology and geography, there is great opportunity for groups and tribes to understand the commonality of their experience which harmonises a planet that has endured much pain and suffering from tribal wars and conflict amongst peoples.  - When i was in 9th grade, i had an idea for a story while walking the daily 1 mi. to the bus stop. I would walk two blocks over and get on the next stop. When i did - i saw myself - already on. (Good thing- didn't spend much time writing that one). Something already in one's nature for many.  Mostly, though, a few years back, i thought - "you mostly think about "yourself"(probably depends on which "self")- one reason i came to work at place - and practice.  We have had experiences - especially as a child or teen, that make our identity that forms the ego self. -- So it is a skill that can be learned or practiced and it is valuable also... for peace for your place... and acceptance...and gratitude...

Jazzbird

A bird that i could not see but only hear - for so long. A musician, who improvises like a great jazz player. I would listen for as long as she was near, sometimes every few days. One time i saw her yellow beak, like a myna, but only glimpses of a light brown frame. I counted, how many different calls before a repeat - 10! Unlike any bird - there is no call and response. Independent and free, it seemed that she was the only one. For a year i tried to get a view. Then, one day, tap-tap ---tap -tap on a back window. What the - i wondered. Lifting the curtain, it was hard to believe, the jazz bird - and -her fluttering daughter. Looking -saying look- showing her pride, hopping from branch to branch. The baffled...wonderment - why is she here -does she want food. I left some - she did not eat. Again the next couple days, the tapping and looking.  She must hear music coming from here all the time, and feels a kindred spirit. What kind of bird is this. I went to another island and was told - maybe a Japanese thrush. Looking it up, i see a resemblance to the female, missing the yellow beak and i didn't see the spots. The variations could be because these islands, which are the farthest from any continental land mass, have the most(or nearly most) endemic species. Listening to their songs, there is some connection. I was too busy looking in her eyes, when she came today (or her daughter), to check her markings. I heard them both a while ago. I had saved this post with only the title for a while. Reminder - write this down - she said.
 Like the magic of spirit through nature - that surrounds us all - and one of the most creative singers in the world. Signs that your difficult time will pass. Once - on a walk 3 mi. away, coming up the hill, one followed. I whistled out something and she followed, singing,  for a while till she came to the tree right across and i came closer - a sensitive soul. A terribly wonderful world...

Duality - Illusion and /or nature of the world?

After discussing the primary and original duality(eternal self/temporary life), let's look at how it seems to permeate everything. Of course, the eternal soul is accepted in different ways and also not at all. The illusory nature of life allows a multitude of conceptions and duality guarantees opposite positions. Hot/cold -North/south etc. By land or country you can often observe the different groups fighting from north and south(or east-west). I guess things tend to attract and repel to perpetuate the desire for conflict and and the "law" of cause and effect. the soul histories we've shared have conditioned us, and the animal nature continues the stories. I've always thought that the purpose of conflict(and hunger) is to keep all moving. Much can be learned, especially when the traveller grows weary of it and seeks a new deeper way of consciousness. The old ways change slowly. The key is to consciously work toward and expect an enlightened way of life, where duality is eclipsed by unity...

Siddartha and the pond / solitude

Even though I've lived in mostly rural areas most of my life, and feel somewhat oblivious (day by day) to overpopulation(my illusion), the pond reminds me of the importance of creating a more balanced environment. Having gone many times without seeing anyone in a day, maybe you can understand. Of course, with the web, we are, more than ever, living in a global village. Solitude can remind us of the peace within and that our choices determine our fate. And boundaries - you cannot be responsible for the world - only your part - tho you  can influence it to a large or small degree. Like Siddartha, who had not gone beyond the palace walls, I was not observing the pain and suffering that are part of life - especially when resources are limited. Not equating human and animal suffering, it was sort of horrifying at the pond yesterday. Observed were two smaller crayfish - fighting over the carcass of a larger one. Another instance of why to continue the work. Seemingly an endless task - healing the earth, we can start with ourselves, work without attachment, enjoy and explore the things we wish, and meditate on the oneness under a tree - or by a pond...

Ray Barreto & Tito Allen - Indestructible

Ray Barreto & Tito Allen - Indestructible

Sea Monsters of the North: Day 11-Skull Discovered at Last!

Sea Monsters of the North: Day 11-Skull Discovered at Last!

Motivators/ you are here/ travelling in a vehicle

Why we do what we do. Why all is as it is. Hunger/Creation/Desire...lower forms of Love... With only brief trips down to the pond the last couple days, i got a couple "snapshots." --- you know those views of events or expressions that seem to tell the "truth" or "story" about something or someone. One of them - i'll warn sensitive readers - (about the cray deaths in last post) may be disturbing. A big cray was atop another victim, apparently consuming the smaller creature. I assume this is because of the overpopulation of the pond, but it's not easy to see compassion in a crustacean. This gives more meaning to the pond work, but it's all a creative experiment - life is that is. I read - http://wikilivres.ca/wiki/An_Autobiography_or_The_Story_of_my_Experiments_with_Truth  - by Gandhi - at an early age. As he continued and put all of himself to his cause - even losing his body - that is why he is truly a "Great Soul" and his experiment was a glorious truth....If we can be totally honest - we can admit to not knowing ---- let's say - more than we actually do know about what life is. Maybe the opposite is one thinking they know so much of the "Truth" that they have a right to injure, destroy or despise others. Most just believe what they were told - and behave as others do from their area. Some will give their lives or take other's for "their beliefs". It seems almost borne out of social needs, retaining culture, and needing to have an answer for what happens in the afterlife. If we have the courage - we can follow our own path of the heart. Life unfolds in wonder... Any birth on this amazing planet will eventually result in a death. The earth is called a "middle planet." Some can be experiencing like a heaven and others like a hell. Most move thru all experiences learning/gaining or suffering/losing... If our identity is the observer (the one who is residing IN the body)
, much becomes clear, and everything is learning/growing/remembering/Being. ----Oh yeah, the other snapshot was the many flowers - recovering,opening, and reaching/looking to the sky...

Histories

Fairly normal pond runnings lately - well except for 3 (cray) possible homicides. All the remains were found at the same location, and in a similar condition. Forensics were not done. Although the next person that asks me what i do - i will say forensic botany. Or maybe risk management/damage control ( you know - if things don't work out at first). Anyway, new group of polliwogs - yesterday on one side - "both sides today"- Have moved 11 or so crays to the small tank with lavender colored lilies. Glad to have the golden horse come and visit and he could help take down the grass --- Thinking about the relatively small wolf spider in here -- after relocating a larger (4") friend or relative the other night. Gained more respect for them a couple months ago, after finding out they have some type of venom. That might explain a bite a few months ago, though the only other mean thing we have is centipedes, which is not bad for tropics. The boars have come right outside a couple nights before- sometime crunching passion fruits. So i procrastinated - the big one the other night waited above for hours- and this one was hanging around. I guess i talk to insects also 'cause i told the other one that i understand why you like to hide in here. A while back, on a bright day  - while sitting outside - a wolf spider came floating down from the trees. As he hit the ground, he took off like a jet. Remembering the little wasp with the orange thorax - dragging dead w spiders, their relationship was known to me. Since i have lived rurally for so long, you know how you get used to things, which Aldous Huxley said was 50% of the philosophy of life. I looked at the But if a human or culture retains useless or harmful habits, one must reason and practice letting go what does not serve the good of all - including the fear of a little spider.

Feeding Fish

Only thing i had was some thick oats. Fish enjoyed it much as it sank below and methodically in rhythm. Put more this morning. Had spontaneous ritual of spreading food - in a circle of the pond. Lilly,fish,healing,,happy and optimistic...

Life in the Food Chain

Today - inoticed the small fish ripping and shaking while grazing the algae, the larger and faster dominating the others. Seeming to be aggression - trying to keep others away, it was like a tic - like odd movement. I could detect their anxiety. I cleared lilly pads away, so algae could grow. I've seen crays cut it down like a big mower,so even tho i'm still moving them,their numbers are still too high for the resource. i need to decide about feeding the diminishing fish, Saw a cray reaching out for them and the slower polliwogs don't have much a chance. We see in our histories - stories of competitive gods and their representatives. So, that legacy and has been the nature and it's template of this planet, at least predominately, for our long recent history. I pulled one of the lilies above the surface and gazed into the center. The lotus above seemed to have evolved to open - open -  open - stretching - baring it's heart to the sky - before letting the pink petals slowly let go and eventually tumble to into the water.

Creation Lotus

In a Vedic creation story, one of the aspects of MahaVishnu lies down (asleep?)in the the causal ocean, universes emanate like bubbles or seeds(science concurs with this bubble like description). While laying down - a lotus flower sprouts from the navel -and atop the local creator god Brahma appears. Today, the first thing i noticed, going down to the pond, was the 5 - 6 ft. - pink lotus. Glorious beauty i feel blessed to experience. (I don't know if there will income - or even if i will live here in a month or two - but i am now feeling the great wealth that is given.  I do know this comes from within - and - it IS always now). I think it could be the same, doing anything or being anywhere, whatever you put your heart and presence to. The ideas here are that i didn't go to the cray trap first - or look at the murky water and disappearing tadpoles. And if we are made in the image of the creator, we need to create. Noticing or looking for the things that are of beauty and meaning(everywhere) will empower you to work on solving/improving the problems of this temporary world. This touches on the subject of oneness - and - personal responsibility(difference). After creation in the Vedas, another aspect of the Source is said to enter the creations. Is this what is happening Now? Of course, this extremely complicated version of creation isn't possible to know for nearly all, and each group of humans who try to make their own version the "only way" do not succeed. It is the fruit of consciousness and goodness we express that is only important. Yet, we find ourselves in a world where some will steal or kill for their god and feel justified or even heroic. Our choices give us different "realities". The evolution of consciousness must take so long. (That is why Vedantists and geologists speak in millions of years or more). We didn't all come here from our last incarnation, and won't all go to the same place in our next. It is romantic to believe this planet will all enlighten in a brilliant flash(Very possible with a supernatural event). Yesterday i read " You are not in everything - Everything is in you". The oneness of Source that we share is optional to express(or hidden) here. Whether an energy or creator entering -will most likely be revealed. Most of us feel something is happening and details and interpretations differ, all of us are part of this planet---and---there's more than One who is sleeping/dreaming/creating?